I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
