guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
