i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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