I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
