I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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