I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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