so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
