Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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