Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
