clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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