nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
