yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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