Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So much rum. So many feels.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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