Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
