Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
