saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
