it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
All the doctor said was why
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
