too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
