Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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