it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You can't just leave with hair like that
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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