Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
