she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
