we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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