you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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