it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
