smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
