So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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