She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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