I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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