..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
