I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
