now i know why i became what i already was.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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