careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
