I think i sorta joined a cult last night
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
