I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
