no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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