Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
