finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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