I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
