I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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