I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
