Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
