Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
