the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
