Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
