I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
