plz talk dirty to me
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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