I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
