Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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