Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
