WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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